My life as a peony
02 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: flowers, happiness, Peony
Waiting for what’s next. Impatient Me is eager for a new start. Complacent Me thinks anything is tolerable with enough vices. However, like the beauty and perfection of this peony, Real Me knows life is fleeting and understands the value of living in happiness.
Leading then leaving the horse at the trough
05 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: ambition, goals, Inertia, lazy
This quote by Andrew Carnegie gave me pause: “You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb.”
It’s true that you can’t push anyone toward success, much like you can’t make a horse drink water after you’ve led it there.
Success, happiness and accomplishment are personal choices. I understand this premise clearly now. In spite of a person’s best try at seeing potential in one person or many, the truth is that if that desire for success and happiness is not within, forces from without have zero leverage.
The lesson learned is that I don’t have to understand others’ inertia or what I consider as their cowardly ways. The person to whom I’m most responsible is me. Billy Shakespeare said it better than I ever could: “To thine own self be true.”
Fortunately for me, that “true” includes optimism with a lot of sparkle. And a desire to hustle ever-so-quickly back to my center.
Happy Thursday, y’all!!
Spring has, indeed, sprung
22 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: happy, joy, Spring
Yesterday was the first day I saw, and actually felt, my future. Spring always has a certain wistfulness about her, and I basked in the certainty of great things to come. Every now and again, we need to remember that nothing lasts forever and joy comes in the morning.
I also believe this bit of beautiful nature had a hand in the hopefulness I felt:
Unexpected
10 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: berries, happiness, red, run, Walk, winter
I saw this tree on my walk-run yesterday. I was taken by the cluster of red berries framed by the naked limbs. The hills in my ‘hood cause me to curse, but random prettiness like this makes it all worthwhile.
Little things count
02 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Gratitude, positive, thanks
A smile and thank you. That’s all I had for the Target manager who opened extra lines for customers.
At first, I felt stupid for waiting a couple of minutes to express my gratitude. I’m glad I did. It wasn’t so much that she thanked me back, but I did like knowing I had a hand in helping her have a good day.
A Day in the Nice
01 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: dogs, enthusiasm, friendship, happiness, laughter, love, new year, positive
There’s so much behind the story of where this title and these next few entries emerged, yet for the time being (and because it’s late and I’ve had a great New Year’s Day with too much celebration), I wanted to make a start on this the first day of 2012.
I’m super excited about for the start of the year; in my bones I feel as if the next 365 days (it is a Leap Year!) will be memorable and exceptional on many levels. I don’t know the fount of my enthusiasm, but it’s as real as the air I breathe.
What I’ve ruminated so far is that a day in the nice is just about seeing the nice in people, places and things. With negativity and pessimism abounding, I decided to take a break from my usual approach to life, and see things through eyes of love–not the romantic love that usually enters people’s thoughts when you say the word, but the type of love that is compassionate and understanding. For a logical, Type-A like me, I’ve set quite the journey for myself.
One incident that led to this new direction is when I thought I was going to have to put down Cassidy, my oldest and best dog ever. About two weeks ago, she couldn’t walk and was wobbly; every sneeze or strong wind seemed to knock her on her keister. Thanks to the doggy version of WebMD, I’d diagnosed her with a fatal disease, called the vet to “make arrangements,” and started saying my goodbyes. Oy.
Cass & me
Fortunately, and within a couple of days, I realized she was achy (she is 12) and our daily walks up two hills (they actually seem like 90-degree inclines) weren’t in her best interest. I’m happy to report she’s better, and that makes my heart happy. I’m stoic and quite rational when it comes to such things (my ability to compartmentalize is enviable), but I’m not quite ready to say TTFN to her.
What endears Cass to me is that she’s quite selective about the people she likes (she even bit one suitor), can be quiet and mischievous, and does the sweetest things when you least expect it (so not everyone thinks an early morning face wash is sweet but, trust me, it is).
Cassidy English (her full name) helped me on this path of seeing things differently. December provided me with a bevy of reasons to be thankful, grateful and happier, but her story is a good place to start.
Give Gene Marks a break
14 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: accountability, black, Forbes, Gene Marks, jobs, kid, library, parents, poor, President Obama
The current news is all about a Forbes online article titled “If I were a black kid” that has won Gene Marks, the author, excoriation from all segments of our universe. Finally, something all the minorities, majorities and those in between can agree on. (Where is that sarcasm font when you need it?) I do disagree with his use of the subjunctive case. He starts out correctly “If I were” then it all goes sideways with “If I was.” Yuck. May as well have nails on a chalkboard, but I digress.
I get what Marks is saying. I think if people stopped to analyze the content instead of the fact that he’s a self-described middle-aged white guy from suburbia, these folks might get the truth behind his words. It makes me wonder if his getting this close to the truth (yes, mine and scores of others) is what has so many people in an uproar.
To be fair, though, I would take this issue back one step. Start with the parents. These poor black kids wouldn’t be here were it not for some bad decisions by their parents, so let’s let them be the focus.
What I’m tired of is people who scream and ramble about the plight of the poor, black, impoverished folks, but what are these same folks doing for themselves? For example, were they out there occupying parks in major cities or were they in their probably government paid for dwellings with heat, phones and a computer? What do you think would happen if we let the people for whom we’re fighting actually fight for themselves? Where was the outrage from the poor people when President Obama killed Plan B? (We pay now for those unwanted kids or we pay later; if we pay later, chances are it’s going to be for longer.)
Even the Pew Research Center has data on what poverty really looks like, and most of the people who say they are impoverished just aren’t. Marks makes excellent points about the library and doing well in school (even if it’s the worst school). When my mom had to work late, I had my butt in the library until she retrieved me. While at first I hated it, I know that spending hours in the stacks fueled my love of words and solitude.
If parents were so concerned about the lives their kids would have, then they should have made the decision to 1) keep their knees closed and flies zipped or 2) given serious thought to how they were going to pay for their kid(s). As I’ve said before: Since I wasn’t in on the procreation decision, I should not be forced to pay for that decision when it all goes to hell, metaphorically speaking.
Is it too bad that poor black/white/yellow/red/orange kids have to pay for their parents bad decisions? Yes, yes it is. However, until we start making the irresponsible parents responsible for their actions, what do you think is going to change? Nothing. They’ll keep making their choices, and there will be those who will continue to fight in support of those bad choices. What? That can’t be right…right?
Even Jesus said that if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish, he can become self-sufficient. I say give these people poles! (And not the kind you find in the club!) Let them fend for themselves. Yes. I said that, too, although there are enough government programs (duplicates even) to help anyone who wants the help. I’m sorry, but if you can’t get your ass on the bus to get to an agency that can help you be better than you are, then perhaps you deserve to be where you are. (And this from the daughter of a social worker, no less.)
Give Marks a break, people. This talk of white privilege and the ivory tower causes parts of my anatomy to ache that really shouldn’t. It’s also those kinds of diatribes that cause the chasms to grow even further. For all the people who are angry at Marks, what are you doing to help these poor black kids? Your words are fantastic, but your energy, brain and desires for success might be even better. Harness your anger and prove Marks wrong.
Tardiness is not a way of life
10 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: education, late penalties, priorities, responsibility, tardiness
I’m delaying my run to write this post because, even after last night, I’m still surprised by the exchange. A semi-literate student thought it would be a good idea to chastise me for tacking on late penalties for an assignment that was submitted one day late. This was the final project, which had been in the syllabus (with no changes) since July. This student routinely submitted work late, so these late penalties shouldn’t have been a surprise.
Earlier in the week, a colleague said he didn’t take off for late assignments, which I think is bullshit and not fair. It’s as if he’s saying to the students who submitted work on time that their contributions and sacrifices didn’t mean anything. Most of us juggle multiple responsibilities these days, so it’s absurd to not recognize that we all have to be excellent multitaskers or reorganize our days to accommodate our deadlines. If we don’t, then what’s the point in having them?
The bank and credit card companies don’t want to hear your tales of woe; they want their money. If you can’t pay by a certain date, there are penalties. And, yes, these penalties can negatively affect your bank account and your credit score. In education, late work can affect your GPA and that can affect your scholarships and ability to play sports, in many cases.
We live in a world of rules, and some rules should be adhered to for the sake of the greater good. Left and right, the education system is pummeled (or under investigation by the GAO) for graduating students with no skills. Learning the importance of being on time may be a soft skill, but it is a necessary one.
We tend to make time for those things that are important. If doing work (or paying bills) on time is not a priority for you, then the late penalties should not concern you either. Our country is partially in the toilet because the people who are responsible and contribute to society are taking care of those who choose to free-load.
Dear Conservatives: You’re pissing off one of your own.
09 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, Conservative, Paul Broun, Paul Ryan, Thomas Sowell
The political season is upon us, and now Americans have to deal with the vain, vapid and insipid promises from both sides. I understand why so many people opt out of the voting process; I would, too, but I don’t think I could complain about the yokels if I didn’t at least try to make a difference.
As a conservative, or someone with conservative views, I’m constantly embarrassed by the Republicans and Tea Party people who don’t seem to realize that they are doing more harm than good with their veiled, racist rhetoric. President Obama addressed the nation last night, and Paul Broun, a representative from Georgia, decided to skip the president’s message. Instead, Broun stayed in his office and tweeted his “interpretation” of what the president meant. This story from politico.com has more details: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0911/62974.html
First, jackass, you’re a jackass. Regardless of how you feel about the man, he is the Chief Executive Officer of the United States of America. That Broun decided to miss the event just added one more reason why I may vote for a president whose policies I don’t support. Conservative politicians don’t understand the tenuous connection black people have with the president. In fact, for the last few years, I’ve been trying to figure out mine.
I didn’t vote for him because it was historic or the right thing to do. I voted for him because the thought of that nitwit Palin and the old man in office scared me. It came down to family values, and the things about President Obama that resonated with me. I appreciated that he and the First Lady were married, went to great schools, had professional careers and were smart. I didn’t like that the former vice presidential candidate went to a bunch of random schools, married a fisherman and had a daughter with a soon-to-be bastard child. Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. All things considered, I think the Palins are low class. If the roles had been reversed, I would have voted the other way, but they weren’t.
If conservative politicians are going to engage more of us (and I loathe the terms people of color, black or African-American), they need to understand that because race and ethnicity are part of our country’s make up, this notion factors into our political decisions as well. Do I like that? Of course, not. Yet, time and again some jackass conservative makes some comment and I think two things 1) they don’t get it and 2) my vote just doesn’t matter to them.
Thomas Sowell, Condoleeza Rice and Colin Powell are the three people, if conservatives were smarter, they would let speak on all matters related to anything intellectual. Thomas Sowell, who is about my mom’s age, writes about his disdain for entitlements, how people should learn how to help themselves, and our lack of morality, among other things. Condoleeza Rice is just smart (and not only because she’s single). Colin Powell. Really? What do I need to say about him?
So conservative politicians need to get their collective act together. I’m a second generation conservative, and the party that should represent me is an embarrassment that I can’t rid. It seems that no ointment or cream will cure the ongoing stupidity these people bring to bear.
How can they do this? Stick with the facts. Stop questioning the president’s status as an American citizen. Offer us solutions that are not based on rhetoric. Stop talking about what the other has done wrong. Tell us what you can do and lay out a timetable. Don’t say we’ll have $2/gallon gas. Idiot. Routinely, politicians play to the most base level of humans out there. Who needs to watch reality TV when we can see it live and in person daily?
Ron Paul and Paul Ryan may come across as extremists, but some hard cuts need to be made for our country. Would they hurt? I’m pretty sure they would. Yet, I don’t think throwing money at problems or letting people make the same mistake generation after generation is the right way to go either.
What I learned from The Help
14 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Aibilene, chocolate pie, Hilly, Jackson, Minny, Missippi, The Help
I saw The Help yesterday and, while the movie has its merits, I am slightly disconcerted by the angst I now have. In the last 24 hours, I’m desperately grateful for one thing: I didn’t grow up in Mississippi–although right now, I’m fairly disappointed to be southern born at all.
While whites and blacks probably will see this movie from different perspectives, what I’m left with is the reminder that white people can be especially vicious and cruel. There were some hurtful things in the movie, but they were just a sliver of the true ugliness that is Mississippi and that era.
Some movie critics have given The Help high scores; on some level, this might be warranted. Viola Davis, whom I first saw in an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent was spot on as Aibileen. I’m so glad she’s finally getting her just rewards as an actress. Minny (Octavia Spencer) provides the right amount of sarcasm and logic (and a bit of connivance) to make some of the awful people of Jackson, Mississippi palatable.
Minny is my new heroine. When someone does something especially funny or brave, I’ll give them a Minny or call them by that name. When people piss me off, I’ll dream of serving them Minny’s hallmark pie. Finally, when someone is stupider than life, I’ll call them Hill (Bryce Dallas Howard).
Did I learn anything from this movie? Yep. Many blacks aren’t any better off than they were 40+ years ago; many whites are still as vile as their great and grandparents are, and we have a long way to go. I’m not sure what all of this means for me in the bigger picture; I have some idea…I just hope I have the balls to get on board with it.
